2

the lights blocked the sky, the ignition hummed, four hours i dreamed.

2:35pm.
 i imagined the town near the sea, with small beaches and families with wives in polka dotted bathing suits and husbands with slicked hair; holding hands and kissing their only son with oily skin touching.  i imagined young girls with white shirts and dirty knees, and boys with ripped pants and red bicycles; they laughed on the boardwalks and went to penny arcades and shared shakes. like the movies, like how its supposed to be. with nothing under the sidewalks, and nothing to be nervous about. i smiled, and i thought for a moment, maybe that could be me. maybe in a few months, i could be here. maybe i can be happy, too.

6:47pm
maryland is exactly like new jersey.

there are no oceans. there are no small beaches with mothers who love their husbands and only sons; there are no dirty knees and red bicycles. there are no penny arcades, and this whole damn town is anything but what the movies had made me believe it would be.

7:12pm
Ana began to cry. She was excited to live here, she was excited to attend the college, she was excited to leave. I leaned against the car door and pretended to sleep until we arrived at the hotel.