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i've debated living again today.

i fell asleep at 4am (ipod on shuffle), woke up at 8am (stared at the ceiling for approximately 20 min, shifted onto my side and studied Ana's face.) Eventually, jumped in the shower. (Stared at my naked body, determined what was good and what was bad.) Dressed in the heighth of fashion. (grey sweats and a shirt bearing my old high school's logo.) Stared at the rainy clouds, some how managed to socialize. (They don't like when im quiet.) Ate. (always good at that.) Watched Ana's family, smiled. A whole hearted smile. (and wished i could call them my own.) Layed on the lumpy, family couch and watched a movie that motivated me. (At the time i believed i'd keep that motivation, but i soon discovered an hour later it just wasnt that important to me.) Sat cross legged in Ana's room and watched her pack. (and soon discovered how lonely i really was.) Blacked out from complete exhaustion.

Oh. Forgot the part where i jump from the second floors window.
Eh, i'll live.